No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize