I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
