Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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