she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
