why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
