Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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