Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize