I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
