I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
