Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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