Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
