remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
