you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
