She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
