Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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