i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
