return my video game
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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