Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
