HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
