remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
