I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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