I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
