how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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