Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
