I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
