i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
