I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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