I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize