he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
