once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
