just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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