i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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