my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
