What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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