The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
