your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
