Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
