stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize