Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
try to milk me bitch
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