She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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