If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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