he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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