"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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