dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
