so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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