I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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