I just saw a hot homeless man
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
