Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
