She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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