i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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