How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
