I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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