I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
