That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
