i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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