sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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