He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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