I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
