dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
