Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Barsexuality is the new black.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
