just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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