Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
