Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize