I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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